I AM Feeling: Great!

Things are finally headed in the right direction for me in terms of my happiness.

I think the biggest thing that happened for me this year or most recently is that I finally bought a car all on my own :) I had borrowing a car from a friend's brother for the past couple of months and now I have my own car! Last week it felt so unreal and exhilarating to be driving my very own car and the fact that I would never have to borrow someone else's car or ask for a ride because of not having a car.

I have not had a car since 2006 and how did I live without one for so long? Well I had always lived on campus and my one job at that time was on campus so really there was no need. Whenever I needed groceries or had to do an errand I had plenty of friends that were doing errands that I could get a ride from. The need for a car increased this summer when I started doing my own things like summer rec soccer, getting another job that wasn't on campus, and just wanting to be independent again. The need really increased this fall because the person that I was getting a ride to my new full-time job was getting tired of bringing me to work (which is clearly understandable) and so I had to really figure out how to get enough money in time to buy a vehicle by December-February.

So, I DID IT! I have my own car, paying for my first loan, car insurance, etc. It feels good, except I am back to being very poor until I can build up my funds again.

ALSO I had mentioned that my car had issues and it is currently getting fixed and I am very excited to get it back on Tuesday. There was an issue with the power steering pump/leak and so that is what is taking the longest. I now have a Toyota Camry that is baby blue and is ugly as could be (in my opinion) but I am glad to have a loaner until the my car is back! It sucks to have to already get work doen on the car with my first car but at least the dealer is taking care of the expenses..THANK GOD.

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The relationship world is going great. As corny as this may sound, as of tomorrow, we have been dating for 1 month and that makes me very happy. I feel like we've been dating a lot longer but maybe that's because we started really getting to know each other back in mid-ish November (Thanksgiving to be exact ha ha ha!). Like I've mentioned several times before, I am very happy with him and we are doing so well. I am the happiest I have ever been in a relationship. I think that is due to the fact that I have really grown up and I know what I want, and I know how to control my anxieties or worries. I have learned to talk things through instead of holding them in, and with him...he makes me want to be better, to do better. He. Is. Great.

"Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. "
-Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

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There are still a lot of things that are going on in my head but who doesn't have that going on? I am just trying to not let them get to me.

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Church is really helping me, I feel like I am slowly making my way back to God (not that I really left him, moreorless pushed Him aside).

I read my bible often, just trying to make sense of the questions I have for Him and for myself. The church that I've been going to has really made me feel so welcomed, so wanted, and I really like Pastor Kev and his wife. It was awesome to go out to lunch with the both of them and my friend Angie. Instead of church feeling like a place of gossip, money, and more money, church feels homey, welcoming, loving, and helpful. I haven't felt that in years, and it is good to be getting back in the rhythm of church, and most importantly God.