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I am sorry that this blog is going to feel a bit neglected due to the fact I have decided to write more in my private blog than this one because of the topics and people I talk about.  I feel more free in that other blog and I know exactly who is reading it.

It is nice to have this blog still because I know there are some people still reading this and this blog is mainly for updates and happy things that are going on with me. 

Like I mentioned before if I know who you are and you want to ask me for access let me know.  It is very limited to the people who are close to me and the people I trust.  Please don't feel left out of my rants or vents because those rants and vents should honestly not be in the public.  I didn't realize before how those posts could be affecting the people I'm talking about because to me it was just an outlet.  I was also a little preoccupied with the fact that my site was getting a bit more traffic than I was used to.  For me to blog is a way for me to vent and to deal with my feelings in a different way.  I do not want to occupy myself with thoughts of how many people are reading my blog.  I do admit it is a nice thought that people come to either sites to read what I have to say or because they care about me.

I know a bunch of people don't know what's going on but could you or anyone just pray for me?  Pray for peace, strength, and courage to get me through this week.  I really need it and I just want to do all the right things...I want to make progress. 

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So, in church we talked about images and masks that we all tend to put on, whenever, wherever, and the fact that instead we should all learn to just be ourselves.  God wants us to be just as we are and nothing else because He loves us no matter what.  I believe in that statement but still an interesting thought.  It makes me wonder why we can't just do that to one another?  I guess in one aspect it seems unrealistic but in another it doesn't seem all that unreasonable.  I guess I have to chew on that concept a little and maybe get back to it at some point.

The point is, is that I wear a mask on a daily basis.  Yes, I am going through some pretty rough times right now and that is the only way I think I can prevent myself from falling apart. 

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It is also in our best interest to not disclose that deep stuff about ourselves to everybody around us.

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I'm not sure if I have anything else to say about that topic right now but it was an interesting topic and I completely related to it.

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I really like church and what faith it has brought back to me.  Also when I'm there it provides me with peace and comfort that I need to learn to bring home with me.  I guess I've never seen such genuine people from church in a long time.  At church I am also part of the tech team which really has helped me socialize with people at church.  I really like being on that team because it also helps with the sense of belonging to this church.